Top five ways to hide a pandemic

COVID-19 was declared a pandemic in 2020, but we’re over it now. It’s too much hassle and we’ve decided to focus on treating each other with the very real act of kindness and washing our hands instead of tangible protocols to curb the spread of the virus. Why clean the air when it could be full of germy ‘rona particles, anyways? In order to avoid any accountability whatsoever, here is a step-by-step guide on how to hide a pandemic: 

  1. Don’t say its airborne 

COVID-19’s primary mode of transmission is through the air — you know, aerosols we breathe in and out. However, actually saying that would cause people to panic! We don’t want the general public to be properly aware of their risk because that means we’ll have to invest in high-quality masks and filtration systems. That’s unthinkable. Instead, let’s tell people to wash their hands and pretend like we can put the onus on individuals to protect themself from COVID-19. (Spoiler alert: They can’t.) 

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